First, you went over our 500 word limit on the history section. I'm going to ask you to trim back, because you might have to add a sentence or two more to explain some things.
VR systems - If you could spell out Virtual Reality in the first sentence that would be great. Something like "VR (virtual reality) systems" but phrase it how you like.
Neurocannular implant - from what you've written it's not clear what this is. I'm not 100% sure I understand it, but I'm assuming it's something to tap her into the virtual reality? Please explain that briefly in the history and inventory sections. It's also unclear when she got the implant.
Lastly, a question. This game has a strict no-fourth-walling policy, which is particularly important for a character's knowledge of Tolkien. Our preference is to treat her knowledge like a made up "generic fantasy" canon of your choosing, but I'm willing to hear out another option on your part. Would you be okay with that arrangement or would you like to propose something else?
Revisions / Questions
First, you went over our 500 word limit on the history section. I'm going to ask you to trim back, because you might have to add a sentence or two more to explain some things.
VR systems - If you could spell out Virtual Reality in the first sentence that would be great. Something like "VR (virtual reality) systems" but phrase it how you like.
Neurocannular implant - from what you've written it's not clear what this is. I'm not 100% sure I understand it, but I'm assuming it's something to tap her into the virtual reality? Please explain that briefly in the history and inventory sections. It's also unclear when she got the implant.
Lastly, a question. This game has a strict no-fourth-walling policy, which is particularly important for a character's knowledge of Tolkien. Our preference is to treat her knowledge like a made up "generic fantasy" canon of your choosing, but I'm willing to hear out another option on your part. Would you be okay with that arrangement or would you like to propose something else?